[Circle of Hands] The Key Event

Started by Chris Bloxham, March 19, 2014, 04:22:14 AM

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Chris Bloxham

What the hell. Here is a reworking of my first idea...

Hartmut Oswald

Homeland: Rolke
Social Rank: Professional
Professions: Entertainer (High), Martial (High)
Demeanor: Friendly
Feature: Emblem?

B: 6
Q: 5
W: 8
C: 8

Traits: Romantic, Cunning

Key Event: The clan died at the hands of the restless dead. Hartmut's spear pierced his wife's breast and the incantation that she performed to be reborn as a lich failed.



John W

Quote from: Nyhteg on March 19, 2014, 01:30:30 PM

1. Write it backwards, one step at a time.
2. Stop writing the second it stops being cool.


Very neat!  I'm going to try this.  I might suggest it in my playtest game too.  I'll let you know how it works for me/us.

-J

Nyhteg

#17
QuoteThe clan died at the hands of the restless dead. Hartmut's spear pierced his wife's breast and the incantation that she performed to be reborn as a lich failed.

This works; as a player picking up the character sheet I could see something to go with.
Personally...I'd want to give it a bit more spikiness. A bit more sting.

The elements you have are:

- Clan killed by zombies;
- Wife trying to become a Lich;
- Hartmut kills her before she can turn.

I can see how that would probably be wrenching for Hartmut...but on the other hand, in the Crescent Land that's also a perfectly pragmatic choice.
He's probably seen his own children, or his clan's children at least, die from illness or malnutrition and worse. He's probably had to kill people, or seen people killed, for far lesser reasons than this.
His wife is doing the Lich ritual in the middle of a zombie attack? That totally sucks.
But of course he'd kill her, for the sake of the clan if nothing else. It's a no brainer.

What makes killing her a game changer?
How is this justified death different from all the towers? That time had his uncle killed to stop him undermining his authority in the village, say?

What makes it so much worse for him this time that the Circle becomes the only answer?

My first suggestion is to consider that perhaps something good would have happened (right away in the immediate fiction) if killing her hadn't been necessary.
Introduce hope (...of escape? ...of victory? ...of...?)...then grind it out by the choice he is forced to make.
Make it spikier and more immediate.

So the elements become:

- Clan is being killed my zombies;
- Hope of some kind is glimpsed;
- Wife crushes that hope by trying to become a Lich;
- Hartmut has no choice but to kill her before she turns.

Do let me know if this isn't helping or isn't what you want, BTW.

G

(edited to fix italics format - RE)

Nyhteg

Oy veh...

How is this justified death different from all the towers?

WTF? 'Towers'?  :)
I meant 'others'...

Also, that random quoting of the word 'good'? Meant to be italics...

iPads...can't type straight on them, won't preview the post...so bad for this... :)

G

Chris Bloxham

Key Event: The clan died at the hands of the restless dead. Hartmut's spear pierced his wife's breast and the incantation that she performed to be reborn as a lich failed. The bodies of his children lay lifeless by their mother; already sacrificed for her unsuccessful transformation. Walking away from the village as it burned, Hartmut did not look back.

And yes! You are helping immensely!

Nyhteg

Oof! Now that felt like a Key Event..! :)
Brutal... Lose-lose for Hartmut. That's awesome.
I completely feel for this man now....he's a good guy, an entertainer, tries to connect with people, wily but friendly despite everything, yet underneath...heartbreak, heartbreak, heartbreak...

Question: based on my top-of-the-head notion of working backwards for as long as it stays cool, what do you want the first sentence to add now that you've scored the gut shot with Hartmut's murdered children in the rest of the Event?

Ooh. Actually, you know what, I suddenly can't help thinking that "Gut Shot" could be the perfect touchstone for creating Key Events.
As in: "Where's the Gut Shot..?"

If you can't point to the mortal wound, it isn't a Key Event yet...

Gethyn

Nyhteg

...or, actually, far better:

If another player can't point to the mortal wound, it isn't a Key Event yet...

G

Ron Edwards

I'd say you guys have totally worked this out. Very much my vision for this mechanic.

Minor point: Hartmut is very definitely, even classically, the skald, and may well be referred to that way.

Chris Bloxham

Thanks Gethyn and thanks Ron.

Ok, I think I've nailed the process in my mind; here is the last effort for Hartmut based on your last comments, G.

Key Event: Hartmut's spear pierced his wife's breast and the incantation that she performed to be reborn as a lich failed. The bodies of his children lay lifeless by their mother; already sacrificed for her unsuccessful transformation. Walking away from the village as his house burned, Hartmut did not look back.

This is Hartmut complete in my mind now. I can actually finish the character with spell picks and what not...

Chris Bloxham

Hartmut Oswald

'Skald'

Homeland: Rolke
Social Rank: Professional
Professions: Entertainer (High), Martial (High)
Demeanor: Friendly
Feature: Emblem

B: 6
Q: 5
W: 8
C: 8

Traits: Romantic, Cunning

Key Event: Hartmut's spear pierced his wife's breast and the incantation that she performed to be reborn as a lich failed. The bodies of his children lay lifeless by their mother; already sacrificed for her unsuccessful transformation. Walking away from the village as his home burned, Hartmut did not look back.

Magic: Cat (w1), Perfect Senses (w1), Counter Magic (w2), Confuse (b1), Storm (b3)

Armour and Weapons: Kite shield, cone helmet, mail (gambeson underneath), spear, bow, knife.