In-Fiction Sexual Exploitation: blarrrrgh
mark2v:
From a GM perspective, I feel that when new players sit down or you merge a group there are a few things that must be done.
A. make them feel welcome
B. Make sure the residing groups Social contract and limitations are explicit.
Ie "no messing with the other players, No Sexism, only Golden age comics levels of violence.
With a merged group these things must be Said or else the group is opened up to an experience where the new player might have an agenda that rubs against the groups.
I think you experiaced this effect in your last group.
That is what I was trying to say in my last post but I think I totaly dropped the ball.
Larry L.:
The teleconferencing part actually strikes me as the key factor here. There's a ton of non-explicit social cues built into ordinary human social interaction which are undoubtedly not being transmitted via the technology. Any of which might have ordinarily mitigated the situation into something less uncool. A funny "Oh really?" raise of the eyebrows, a tensing of body posture.
Is this non-obvious? I'm finding myself working up a rant about this, and I'm not really sure why.
Callan S.:
Larry, as I gave an account myself, I've had something like this happen with a player who was present at the table. It could be as you say, missed cues, or it could be a dark part of the person (and omg, and none of have dark parts, of course) bubbling up to the surface because it seemed acceptable (or heck, maybe it bubbled up because it was close to what he thought was acceptable and he lost the reigns of it and it controlled him). From what I see and how I see it it is, it's non obvious. It's instead like a branching flowchart of possibles and everyone individually attaches their own weights how how possible each is and how possible it needs to be before they act as if it is the actual case.
greyorm:
Quote from: James_Nostack on March 09, 2010, 07:18:55 PM
There were a few people posting here who were saying (I'm paraphrasing!) "Hey, if strangers sit down at my table, I am perfectly willing to their shit up, with or without their consent, with or without prior notice. It's on them to object." And I guess my question is, "Really? Are you that way in other parts of your life too? If not, why's gaming unique in this regard?"
James, I don't think the question is a fair one because I read it as assuming the individual messing up someone's shit is doing so willfully and with foreknowledge. So I can't really answer it, because I don't think it would be fair to characterize what I am talking about, at least, as being perfectly willing to mess up someone's shit as though it is a conscious choice and conscious dismissal of their boundaries, rather than as a clash of expectations.
We all know there are certain things that one generally avoids doing in social situations, that we all know as a cultural thing not to do around/with/to other people. Right? But I also think that's not really as obvious as it might seem (that is: what each person should do and not do -- what the "right/mature/good/fun" thing is, and what the "wrong/immature/bad/unfun" thing is -- when individuals with different social expectations interact). Which I think Ron's example, and mine in my thread, both testify to.
You are correct that there are all sorts of good and valid reasons someone might not voice an objection when their boundaries are violated, and that speaking up can be problematic...but if I don't know, and they don't say...then, yeah, really, it is up to them to object, isn't it? And if not, then...what?
mark2v:
Quote from: Larry L. on March 10, 2010, 11:31:56 AM
The teleconferencing part actually strikes me as the key factor here. There's a ton of non-explicit social cues built into ordinary human social interaction which are undoubtedly not being transmitted via the technology. Any of which might have ordinarily mitigated the situation into something less uncool. A funny "Oh really?" raise of the eyebrows, a tensing of body posture.
Is this non-obvious? I'm finding myself working up a rant about this, and I'm not really sure why.
I agree completely though I did not think of it myself..
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