[Beloved] [Solo RPG] In a dream ...
Ben Lehman:
I have been putting off playing Beloved because, honestly, the game scares me a bit. Plus, it's very hard for me to follow the first directions of the game: I needed a good long time to imagine and envision my perfect beloved, which I suppose isn't surprising.
But last night I had a dream about her, and it was very clear that there she was and, just like in the game, she was kidnapped by a gang of monsters. That was when I knew, at some level, that I was playing the game. So I set out to rescue her.
The first monster that I fought was a shape-changer, particularly one that could mimic particular people and animals. Furthermore, any injury that it took while in a particular form also occurred to whoever it was imitating at the moment. So it fought me by taking on my own form, or the forms of my friends and family, basically holding them hostage against me, all the while turning its hands into daggers and cutting me. It took me a while to realize it, but whenever it transformed there was a brief moment where I could hurt it without hurting anyone else, and so I took those chances to cut off its legs, hands, and finally to stab it through its heart.
But just as I did, it took on the form of my beloved. As soon as I realized what I had done, I was overwhelmed with sadness, but still I went into the prison to find her body. When I did, and it was cut up with every wound I had given the shapeshifter, I realized that it wasn't her! It was some other girl that the monsters had kidnapped. And I felt relieved, that my beloved was still alive. And then I felt this enormous sense of guilt and shame at my own relief: here was this other girl, this totally uninvolved victim that I had killed, and yet I felt relief and happiness at her death. Maybe it would have been better if I had killed my beloved: then I would be punished for my own errors, then I would stop my quest and no one else would have to be hurt.
Then, still feeling that shame, I woke up.
I imagine that I will keep playing this game often, mostly in my sleep, because it is that sort of game. Next time I will have to fight two monsters. I am slightly afraid of what will happen.
I like this game. I wrote it, so of course I am biased, but it is already teaching me new things about itself and myself as I play.
Questions? Thoughts?
yrs--
--Ben
dreamborn:
Ben
I tried to click on the link to your games. It didn't work.
So just because I am also a game designer..... What has been the response to your game? How many people/groups do you think have played it? Is a game on a particular system, is it using your system. Sorry but I am just curious as I haven't heard about this game and the link didn't work
Kent
Ben Lehman:
Thank you for pointing out the issue with the link! Let me copy-paste the text at the link. This is the contest entry: the rules have been changed slightly since this time (every monster is now undefeatable for one reason and one reason only, there is also an alternate text with a male beloved.)
Quote
Beloved:
A solo game by Ben Lehman
For Pen and Paper
Imagine your beloved. She is, to you, perfect in every way. Think on it. Know her.
Your beloved has been kidnapped by a pack of horrible monsters. You, the hero, are the only one who can rescue her.
On the center of a piece of paper, of a size that you can carry folded in your pocket, draw a small picture of your beloved. Draw the walls of a prison around her. Outside, draw a horrible monster. Now, right down one reason why that horrible monster is undefeatable.
Think about the monster. Think about how it is undefeatable, exactly. Fold up the piece of paper and carry it in your pocket, but continue to think about it. Play out your battles in your mind, over and over, trying new devices and strategies.
At some point, you will discover a way that the monster can be defeated. Don't cheat and think of this ahead of time! Make the monster as unbeatable as you can.
The best way is that you find a way to circumvent or invert the monster's invincibility. This has to do with the exact nature of it, and when you do it you will realize it was there all along.
The other way to do it is that you discover that the monster has a secret weakness, and come up with a plan to exploit it. Don't just make it up! Discover it in your battles and battles with the monster.
Once you have defeated the monster, cross it out. You have rescued your beloved!
But it isn't really her. It's some other girl that the monsters kidnapped. She is like your beloved in one way, and that confused you.
Is she good enough? Do you give up and live and love with her?
If so, you live ever after together.
If not, get a new piece of paper. Draw a picture -- a better picture! -- of your beloved. Draw the prison walls around her. Draw two monsters. For the innermost monster, write down two reasons why it is undefeatable, for the outermost monster, draw one.
You must defeat both monsters to reach your beloved.
But it isn't really her. It's some other girl that the monsters kidnapped. She is like your beloved in two ways, and that confused you.
Is she good enough? Do you give up and live and love with her?
If so you live ever after together.
If not, get a new piece of paper. Draw a picture of your beloved in the center, then the walls, then three monsters, the innermost with three reasons that it is undefeatable, the next with two, the last with one. When you have defeated all these monsters, you reach your beloved. But it isn't her! She is just alike to your beloved in three ways.
Continue in this manner until she is good enough.
Ben Lehman:
Thus far, it's been played by Emily Care Boss and myself (and, last I heard, is still being played by both of us: it's kind of a slow-playing game.) That's all that I know of. The game has also had some positive response from my creative-but-not-gaming friends, who really see it (rightly) as an exercise in learning how to enter and maintain a long-term relationship. I'm not sure how many of them (if any) are actively playing it, however.
yrs--
--Ben
hix:
I think I started playing it last night, just from having a skim through the rules. It's an elegant way to channel the normal imagining I do before I drift off to sleep, and I find the question at the heart of the game provocative.
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