[Beloved] [Solo RPG] In a dream ...
Baxil:
I realize this is #1, but I would genuinely like to offer it in the spirit of #3 - I'm kind of at a loss to approach the text, and this is the wall standing in my way:
"I'm married. I'm not sure I could stand to play this game again."
Which, I don't know ... even saying that much seems vastly unfair to two women I deeply love. Intellectually I know they would both be mature enough to deal with me playing this game, but I'm hitting my own wall here. And the fact I can state my objection that way is making me uncomfortable about myself in a way that I hope the game intended.
Questions, I guess.
1) Is this a game you envision being playable only once?
2) Is it specifically envisioned for single gamers? That's the vibe I'm getting, but there's no actual implications in the text. Are you looking for feedback from the taken?
Ron Edwards:
Wow - that was my reaction too. Some slightly different details - other people's reactions to whether I or do not play any game are no concern of mine, for instance. Also, I haven't taken seriously the idea of a particular set of desired characteristics for a potential partner since ... um, 1985-ish, I think. But yeah, "I'm married, what do I need this addle-headed effort for?"
I'm skeptical enough about anyone's "I would never play that" reaction to be suspicious of my own. I've seen it so often in response to my own work - fuck, now that I think of it, every single one of my books - to know that this may well be about buttons. And I'm quite curious about the Solitaire challenges, and want to give some of the designs a try.
Best, Ron
Nathan P.:
Even though I'm in a committed long-term relationship (as married as I'm likely to get, really), I immediately knew who my Beloved would be, um, modeled after. Maybe it's cuz I'm super-emo, but if you've ever has a Ms (or Mr.) Might-Have-Been, you may know what I'm talking about?
That said, I also decided not to play this game (conciously), because I'm not a place right now where I can spend energy pining.
Ben, I don't know if that's helpful at all to you, but there's a response to my once-and-only reading of the text.
lumpley:
How strange! Having read the text, I don't know if I can possibly NOT play it. It's in my head now. How do you un-ask the question?
And I'm married like crazy.
I also don't expect my experience of it to be pining. I'm very curious to know when and whether someone will be close enough, and how I'll feel about it when it happens.
-Vincent
Ben Lehman:
Thanks, all. Helpful.
Baxil, to address your questions, I'm not targeting single guys (or even, necessarily, guys) specifically, and I see the game as replayable.
I had a conversation with Joe Mcdaldno about this recently that ran along very similar lines, which I'm going to summarize below. Clearly this seems to push a button with particular married guys.
Ron, it's particularly interesting to me that you see the beloved as a set of characteristics, because Emily did, too. That's not the intention. The intention is that the beloved, and the rescued girls, are, you know, people, with a certain degree of commonality. The rescued girls might be desirable or worthy for reasons that are not about their similarity to your beloved, it's just that all the game system cares about is their similarity to your beloved. What gave you the "list of traits" idea?
--
Joe: I'm not sure I can play this, as I'm in a long term relationship.
Me: Huh.
Joe: It just seems like one of the quickest things to emerge from such play would be an outlining of how (Joe's girlfriend) was or wasn't good enough. Rather than being a self-assessment, it seems like it's rather focused on some one else. A critique of them.
Me: But I think "saving your beloved from monsters" still applies, yeah? And how the answers to those questions (about settling) change, over time and effort. Any improvement in "your beloved" is pursuant on you changing yourself. Overcoming things which were previously impossible for you.
Joe: AH, yes. I kind of see Beloved as consisting of two lessons or parts. (1.) If something seems impossible, it means you haven't tried hard enough yet. (2.) If you don't learn to settle, eventually, you'll be chasing ghosts forever. And #1 seems universally accessible. #2 is the part that I feel is fundamentally different and weird if you're already in a relationship you're committed to.
Me: See, it's not quite like that to me. The different rescued girls could be incarnations of the same person. Like, my experience of a long term relationship is that, when people improve, the relationship thrives. And when they stop improving, things get worse. But my understanding of the game is still evolving.
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